Skip to main content

A-holes and D-bags fo sho

I just read my last post. i can be fucking hilarious AND (note the capitals) smart at the same time. i really wonder why i dont have a boyfriend. *makes wtf face* (my faces are an art.)
speaking of. I would marry these men whilst (whilst probably should be while. but i dont care. DEAL with it.) not knowing them (in person) and or whilst they are complete d-bags.
i really like to say d-bag. which is sort of funny because it reminds me of a tea bag. but i like tea bags and i dont like d-bags unless they are on my soon to follow list.
sometimes i think about the privacy i have on the site. i dont. all this precious and most utterly important information really will be used against me one day. im so sure.
but i was telling you about my list. the hot maybe, maybe not d-bag list i would marry within a sec (i accidently just wrote sex instead of sec) (this is the prove this is not just a typo our minds are corrupted and overloaded with sex. sex is everywhere. when you think about it its kinda terrible.) (but only when you think about it).
but back to the list again -if your eyes are going down the page just to skip all this very educational information and go straight to the list you, my friend, are weak.- (notice the comma. for once it could not be replaced by a dot or any kind of other punctuation mark.)
this whole 'you are weak' story reminds me of the most terrible childhood memory i never had; where your parents would tell you when you get home with a 9.5/A that you didnt study hard enough and that you are a disappointment to everybody on this got damn planet and blablabla *you start crying* OMG YOU ARE WEAK! they shout.
that would be horrifying. one day i hope to have smart kids. just so i wont have to give them this speech.
- i know your thinking i dont get this WTF is this about? are her parents really this mean? OMG poor child. wait didnt i read the word never?! OMG she tricked me?! jeeez she is so smart.-
if you did not think that at ALL but more something like WTF? *make a weirdface* (which is btw not that pretty on you). that is fine. DONT SAY A WORD. let me have this special moment.
and now i present you without any furter ado the list, that you really dont give a shit about, of the men i'd marry even though they'd be complete a-holes:

1. Xabi Alonso (no surprise there) (most awesome beard of all beards)
2. Travis Stevens (terrifying AND cute at the exact same time) (stubbly beard)
3. This is a new low for me. i for-freakin-got my number 3.  (probably had a beard too)


After hearing the Spice Girls spicing up the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games 2012 in London. i had to think about all those years i was a quiet young fan girl. gosh i miss those years. life was so simple. -it still is but it sounds more dramatic which equals better- OMG i just remembered my #3 its Tom freaking Hardy. because he is British and beautiful. thats right that my friends is alliteration. and i love it. i love the word ''alliteration''. i love what alliteration does; everything becomes catchy. and we all love catchy fo sho. (fo sho = for sure, let us pretend you knew that. because this is getting really awkward right now.)

oh dear it's 1AM already. time really does fly when you are trying to be funny.
btw i'd ''do'' Tom Hardy with or without beard. just in case he comes asking you whether he should shave his beard or not before he proposes to a complete stranger (ME).  :P

---
Wisdom of the day:
Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Waiters gonna wait. Aligators gonna aligate.
---

Luvvv for y'all. XOXO


---
Comment
---

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Horoscope

I am kind of bored but not really so I started to read these horoscopes on Elle I always like reading horoscopes because I recognize features of me like for example, I am a Scorpio and in all the horoscopes you can read that I'm an aggressive person; anybody who knows me knows that that is totally true lotsa anger that I never really share just keep on piling it up until I explode or implode when I explode I get really REALLY mad at somebody (I then look like I can kill you by only looking at you) and when I implode I get really angry at myself, I then get very quite and yell at myself on the inside.. (yes you can yell at yourself on the inside, or is that just me?) well well thats enough about me for today some other exiting news: (UHUM) I started a new Herman! (HOLY MOLY WTF is Herman) well let me explain the matter: Herman is a cake, a yeast cake that you need to take care of for 10 days and it kinda stinks and my mother doesnt trust the whole yeasting thing but all of that does...

pointless

Yesterday I had this great, great topic to blog about. but of course I forgot. it is truly unbelievable. so here I am blogging about nothing. so pointless. well let me talk you through my day. I got up went to school had 2 lessons waited 2 hours for 2 other lessons turns out I waited for nothing both lessons dropped out so pointless great so I wrote a stupid story in somebody's diary. about a girl who looked like a pig and about an Italian boy who had a stubbly beard. no moral in the story whatsoever. so pointless. a lot seems pointless today doesnt it? gotta run ciao comment

blauwe maandag

ik heb het 'ziektes' hier helemaal hier mee gehad. ze zouden voor dit fenomeen een andere naam moeten bedenken zoals .. ach ja. this morning: we are re-doing/decorating/building etc the bathroom. my parents were gone to have the car checked. the doers/decorators/builders came and asked for the sketch of the new bathroom. uhh. i called my mom. she didnt answer. i called her 7 times again. i called the son of the guy who was going to check the car, if he could please call his dad and tell him to tell my parents to freakin call me back. so no sketch for now then i needed to go to school. damn my tires are flat. i took my moms bike. after a KM damn the front tire is flat as well. called my mom again. still didnt answer. called my grandma (who was at our place to keep an eye on the doers/decorators/builders) (yes the one and only. ) she told me to come back and take her bike. ok. KM back. grandma's bike. only thing she is like 1.50 so i felt like a friggin midget on the damn thi...